I guess if you have made it this far (and by far I mean the second entry so don’t be too proud of yourself but thanks for being a loyal friend and follower) I at least owe you some idea on how I plan to lay out this Blog. I first had the idea to look around the Internet for other Blogs about BMD to see how they were formatted and structured but then realized that was a totally lame idea. I didn’t want to be influenced or subconsciously persuaded to follow the format of someone else’s Blog and thereby be stealing their creative mojo (and plus taking the time to try and read all those Blogs just wasn’t in the cards, ok you got me and the time thing was the real reason but I wanted to try and sound intelligent for a minute, my mistake, won’t happen again). So I’m basically winging it out here and just seeing how it goes, but in my own opinion I think I’m rocking it out already. After a long deliberation and concise thought process (otherwise known as watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns and eating pizza) I’ve decided to write about my latest manic experience and if there hasn’t been one in awhile I’ll dabble back to my gournal and let you into my first full blown manic episode that happened last year (try to contain your excitement, I know my hands are already shaking).
As I mentioned I experienced my first manic episode back in 2008 while living in the quant little metropolis mountain town known as Denver, CO. While I won’t get into the details just quite yet (that would be like me being the Perry Cox to your Janitor when he spoils the end of “Sixth Sense”) I will say that I was provided a nice retreat for about a week where I could get to relax and hang out with some real interesting people, thanks Porter Hospital. In any case it was during this time that I was first put on some medicine to try and get me back to normal (whatever normal is). So I tried to stay on this Depakene and Abilify for about 8 months but let me just tell you it was like I was one of those zombies from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video minus the sweet dance moves, needless to say it wasn’t really working for me. With some support, and by some I mean little to none, I decided to wean (funny word, go ahead say it aloud, told you its funny) myself off the meds and see how I do without them. Now if by some way someone suffering from BMD or any other mental condition comes across this Blog and decides to follow my lead please note this disclaimer, I am not a physician nor have the qualifications to advise or promote anyone to drop off their meds that were prescribed to them. I tried an “Ask a Lawyer” website to see if I needed that disclaimer but they needed my email and some form of payment so I decided to pass and write that little entry down, I should be good I think (50-50). In any case since being clean I’ve reverted back to myself that I know (which is good for me and even better for humanity) but as I said I will have some periods of mania, the first I’ll tell you about actually convinced me to start this Blog, buckle up because here we go on that roller coaster (in case you didn’t read my first entry you won’t get that roller coaster reference, so go back and read it).
One of the cooler aspects of my mania is that colors seem to really play a big role on what’s going on. For instance I was driving from The Nasty over to my gym to get my swoll on (that’s a lie I was actually working out to try and get back into shape from the 20 lbs I gained from the meds, another side effect that kind of sucks) when I started to drift into mania. I started thinking about why this particular blue color car (have no idea of make or model, but stay with me as it doesn’t matter, or at least to me it doesn’t) was stopped at the stop light in the Y crossing just in front of me. Why was that car blue (not the chemical reason, because I’m pretty sure that reasoning and explanation is way above my head, ok not pretty sure I’m positive it is because I’m not sure it’s even chemistry, it might have something to do with light) and why was it at that stop light at this exact time and why was I so focused in on it. The easy answer is that the driver was on their way home and to get over it. But I think at times there’s the problem, I just let things go without appreciating or thinking about what’s really going on (or I’ve been drinking and don’t have the mental capability at the time to do anything else but complain that I have to pay a dollar to use the bathroom in a downtown bar in The Nasty, lame). In any case for some reason my mind starts racing about how the car was there in a chaotic plan that had me driving by this place at this exact time to see this blue car and trigger me down this ridiculous rhetoric I am now writing.
So I proceed to the gym and fly through my workout with my mind just running wild with what I want to do in terms of starting this Blog and what I want to write about (bottom line wanting to share this craziness with all). Basically convincing myself that this is not only a good idea but probably the best idea I’ve had since I decided to send a dozen sunflowers to Britney Spears last year on my birthday (that is a true story and seemed like a great idea at the time, once again another story we’ll explore later). So now I’ve decided that I should start writing about my mania experiences and had the idea of how to do it but for some reason I was walking out of the gym wanting some sign to tell me to do it. Well let’s just say that answer was quickly given to me, because the entire ride home I only really saw the color blue, and I mean everywhere. It started with a girl sitting beside me in her car rockin’ aviators and having blue glass paint with my name in the back window and then a blue bus there, a blue sign here, and everyone around seeming only wearing shades of blue. Then all of a sudden I see two police officers (that’s right, believe it or not they are wearing blue) cruising around on their Segways. Ok, how many cops have you seen on Segways? Other than the ones at the mall, which are security guards and not cops, I know like none. So I start getting pumped up and excited and laughing and dancing my way back to my apartment knowing that I’d just seen my “sign” so I sit down and start writing.
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!