Friday, January 25, 2013

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 5 Issue 2

I don’t trust a grown man in whitey tighties, I just don’t. I always wondered what kind of circumstances a man would have to endure throughout his life into adulthood that would make him want to freely wear whitey tighties? But then again I’ve always been too nervous to ask my grandfather as well. It’s probably something I don’t really understand but involves a lot of cats (or maybe cat videos on YouTube). See I switched out of whitey tighties by at least the eighth grade (nerd alert!). But my transition through men’s underwear garments after that went pretty quickly. Before my sophomore year I had switched to boxers and have recently transitioned into boxers with the elastic waistbands (best of both worlds).

In case you’ve gotten the image of your grandfather in whitey tighties out of your head I wanted to remind you of that before moving on (or put it in if you hadn’t had it).

Almost like it was planned in order for this post to move on I’m going to have to go to the past. Oh not very far in the past but just a few months back around the beginning of summer. I was talking to an old tall college buddy for the first time in years and catching up. It was great to hear from my sister (GCU inside joke) and how well he and his family were doing. That’s a pretty common theme with all my friends; you know a normal life that moves on.

That something fairly recent I’m noticing that I’m going to have to try to learn to live with and that’s watching a lot of others move on with their lives around me. Sure it’s a little tough when it doesn’t feel like I’m moving on but you know I’m overall happy because these peeps are my family and friends. However a couple weeks back I kind of got blindsided and it wasn’t pretty.

So to backtrack again back to my tall college sister’s conversation with me and something he said that kind of resonated with me:

“I know you probably can’t see it because you’re in the trenches taking grenades but you’re doing something pretty special…” then he started talking about his kids or wife so I zoned out (I kid, I kid).

Well a couple weeks back while successfully being the wrong candidate for a job in A-Town I must of took a gay bomb in those trenches because I…

(Haha I’m probably the only one who thinks that joke is funny.) But seriously finding out that a few of the finer examples of mankind (that was really sarcastic they’re actually dicks) that I hadn’t seen in five years were getting to move on with their lives, and it felt like I wasn’t felt like, well I can’t think of anything clever so it felt shitty.

It took me a couple weeks to kind of get over it and try to deal with it I guess. Sure I’m jealous-much (well just a little jealous but I feel I haven’t introduced new slang in awhile) when I see others moving on with their lives around me but I am usually happy (I’m not perfect) for them. Man seeing some of these real stand up guys (sarcasm again) get to move on with their lives when I don’t think they deserve it was just shitty.

But I think (and probably hope more than a little bit) that I’m just in a transition going on with me and it’s tough to see because I’m taking grenades and southern gay bombs like left and right. Maybe as much as I wanted a resemblance of my old life before the BMD diagnosis it probably isn’t going to happen. I don’t think that means my life is going to be worse than it was before and honestly I’m not real sure what it’s going to look like now. I’m pretty positive though I’m not going to be the grandfather with just whitey tighties on, but a banana hammock could be fun.

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

Friday, January 4, 2013

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 5 Issue 1

So to begin the New Year instead of making a resolution to make changes and better myself I’m going to bitch about others (so ‘Merica of me I know). Seeing how I’ve been feeling rather shitty lately due to the depression I haven’t been very active. In fact I’ve read more books in the past couple weeks than in the whole previous year (that was only like one any ways). I’d squeeze my reading in between lulls in college football because everyone and God is watching the bowls you know.

Now it’s already been fairly well documented on this blog that I’m not real religious and don’t really get the traditions and what not. For instance the other day I was watching “student-athletes” play in a bowl game and after a player, let’s say an outside linebacker, comes up and makes a good play to stop the ball carrier at the line of scrimmage he does this move:

(If you’re playing at home that’s the first movie reference with video for .e4. I admit I’m still getting the hang of it so you can just go to 38 seconds to get to the punch line for this joke).

Although I’m pretty sure he wasn’t referring to Austin Powers and more likely was thanking his Christian God for making it 2nd and 10. Never mind that the play, which just lasted a whole five seconds or so is not even a cosmic asshole wink in the grand scheme of the Universe (or that it was first down for that matter) but it’s fascinating the player's belief that God cares more about him making the tackle than he does for the ball carrier (who happened to be a really nice fellow I'm told). So this got me intrigued with the whole spectacles testicles wallet and watch routine so I did some investigating (like I said I’m in depression and will do anything to pass the time).

What I found out (other than if you don’t do it in baseball before an at-bat your sabermetrics drop in all four of the major offensive MVP categories…nah I made that shit up) is that the “sign of the cross” is not merely used in Catholicism but other Christian branches (there went my joke about the outside linebacker not looking like he went to Mass regularly) and it’s a sign to open communication between yourself and God (he must have AT&T too because it’s awful in the country).

Speaking of speaking to God, I’ve been cursing Him a little bit lately (we have that kind of open loving relationship) because I’ve been feeling pretty terrible. This makes me get frustrated in the many aspects of my life that I’m finding unfulfilled and insignificant because of my depression and which I thus place blame on God for giving me bipolar disorder. The only problem is that I wasn’t getting any kind of response, not even when I dropped the F-Bomb. After the research session I think I know what the problem is now, I wasn't doing the testicles wallet and watch thing so he probably couldn't hear me. I'm going to change and try it next time so I guess there's one unexpected New Year's Resolution after all.

The only real problem with all this is that I’m not Christian so…depression you strike again ; damn you!!!

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,