Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 29

Growing up I seemed always to pride myself on my ability to dominate a game of hide and seek. I was always a little quicker than everyone else which played huge in my seeking skills and my slender and agile body build (some may know it as chicken leg syndrome) allowed for great hides. I was so talented at this game that my aunt almost reported me as a missing person (yeah I was that good). Anyhow I decided to try a little hide and seek game with my mania but I’ve learned you can’t hide from fate, especially when it’s Jay Cutler (my arch nemesis).

As some of you may recall I’ve had my “run-ins” with Jay in the past and we’ve had our differences. Well I hadn’t put very much thought to old Jay lately due to my moving back home (and then out to the country), trying to find insurance (finally did, thank you very little), and trying to figure out my next steps (I struck out on my Blue Jackets Internship (haters) so onto the next). But that all changed this Sunday.

As is common knowledge all Sunday’s immediately follow Saturday nights so my story begins (with a coincidence I just noticed, weird) at the ballpark with the Reds versus the Chicago Chubs this past Saturday. This was my first experience in the Diamond seats (all you can eat and drink, real nice place) where I almost make it 15 feet into the door before heckling a Chubs fan (her rebuttal to my heckling was; “ooohhh whatever”, point Derek) and then settled nicely into a few beers. The rest of the night was filled with reminiscing and then forgetting what you were reminiscing about (oh what sweet almost memories). The next day I woke up and found that a cat had shit in my mouth (not literally but tasted a lot like it, don’t ask me how I know that.)

I’m now living out in the sticks with Stubby so I hightail it home in time to watch (or sleep through) the Reds game. I think I’m going to enjoy living out in the sticks for awhile (I mean nothing else has worked so why not). I’ve got a lot more space out there and it’s peaceful (probably two things that couldn’t hurt me right about meow). I’m having some childhood memories come back to me from spending my time growing up out there (from G’ma’s raspberry pies to trying to not lose a finger in the planter with G’pa). I think this place is a good stepping stone to whatever may lay next for me. The only issue is we are so far out in the boondocks that I haven’t found Internet service yet (this means I have to come to Browntown to jump online, inconvenient).

Without the World Wide Web (still don’t know why people don’t use that term more often, it’s kind of fun to say) it was a little difficult to draft my fantasy football team (Yes my name is Cap’n Geech, but Shrimp Shack Shooters wouldn’t fit, close enough). Luckily the worldwide leader in sports also has auto draft so I let fate run its course. But for the record please let it be shown that I moved away from Chicago and let Jay have the town without any of a fight (just the type of guy I am). I packed up and moved out to South Solon (my road doesn’t even have lines) to get away from it all and find myself.

What does fate do to me after my attempts to play nice? It goes ahead and drafts Jay Cutler as my fantasy football quarterback (that’s cold).

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 28

How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Derek.

Now what women could resist that charm and humor? Well apparently at least three from The Nasty via Match.com (I couldn’t believe it either).

A peculiar new thing my mania has decided to start playing with me on is my self confidence. I’ve never really had a problem with this before (some may say a bit dickish, but you’ll have that) because I was usually pretty confident in the person I was. I had everything planned out in my head on how my life would take shape. I’m sure just about everyone does this whether they intend to or not, human nature I suppose.

However the farm gene that seems to be in all my relatives somehow missed me (it just kind of skipped me for some reason, probably to make room for the whole BMD gene, what’s the odds?) so growing up I knew in order to make it I’m going to have to educate myself. So that’s of course what I did (liked it so much I repeated kindergarten and my senior collegiate year (graduating college in four years is like leaving the party at ten)) and once I finally appeared to be graduating I took the next step and got a job. I worked hard and found success and could see my plan coming together.

This of course came to a screeching halt (figuratively and literally as I tried to drive my car off the top of a parking garage, who does that?) during episode uno. I saw everything I worked for disappear which included my confidence. Coming to terms with my psychotic manic episodes filled with hallucinations and delusions actually came pretty easy to me (so weird I know). Yet finding worth in myself is something I struggle with on a nearly daily basis.

So in order to counter this I decided to give myself a little pick me up. You know go after the sure thing to boost the ole self esteem and get you back on track. When I had to resign from my internship in the city of wind and knew I would be having to move back home and basically start over again I needed a boost. I needed something that would be a fun activity to entertain myself for the next month until I moved and boost my confidence (of course I immediately thought of online dating).

That whole eHarmony jazz looks way too complicated for me (how do you order a date, it kind of feels like prostitution) so I hopped on board for one month of service at Match.com. My idea was to write about my online dating experiences to provide even further entertainment for my readers (I’m so dedicated to you all). I’m not the greatest at reality dating so I figured I’d be even worse online and it would be hilarious. I also felt this would be the self-confidence booster I needed to pick me up after falling on my face again. I mean how hard can it be to get some action via online dating right?

Wrong, I once again amazed myself at how bad I must be at this whole dating thing considering I got zero, I repeat zero, responses from my polar bear line (I will admit rejection online is a lot easier to deal with though).

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 27

As I was checking out the automated ProAcitv machine at the mall I came to a little bit of a realization for myself, I’m going through puberty again. Let me tell you the first time around was not all that great of an experience either. My reasons for this realization are as follows;

1. My face is breaking out like I’m 15.
2. I haven’t had any sort of opposite sex interaction in awhile.
3. My voice keeps cracking in and out.
4. My bedroom is across from my parents.
5. I’ve been to the mall three times in the past week and I’m going back tonight.

I really wish I had some clever tie-in with these and my mania but really I don’t. I am just completely weirded out by this and decided to share it (btw the ProActiv Machine is incredibly weird and legit at the same time).

This week would have been my final week at my internship in Chicago and while I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to complete it I don’t feel like I missed out on much (well a few things but nothing a claw game can’t fix). I think I would had been pretty good there and even make it in the city of wind if my mania wouldn’t have gotten in the way but that doesn’t really change anything. I’ve made my New Year’s Resolution (so sue me cuz I’m eight months late but I get a pass considering I was locked up in Southside! during NYE) and that’s to look more to the future than the past.

I’ve been pretty hard on myself lately and worrying so much about what happened rather than being optimistic for what might be coming. I know I’m going to have my good and bad days but lately I’ve been letting my bad days take over my good. Maybe I’m being too lazy because it’s easier to not give a shit but I’m not very good at that either.

Lately it’s almost as if I’m getting down on myself for giving too much of a shit (first post with 2 curse words, probably be a trivia question later). I’ve decided to take the rest of the year off and focus on getting some sort of healthcare (probably should have done that earlier, my bad my blunder), finding a doc (and trying not to be a dick to them) and figuring out my next move. This should be a pretty simple few tasks to complete and then take a sabbatical from life, any normal person would agree. But for some reason I seem to have a lot of problems at it.

Just a final thought on my puberty experiences of late, I wanted to bring up that if any female asks for my number tonight at the mall I will give it to them (sounds really creepy, ok it kind of really is). See my first go around with the big P I was at the mall (of course) and a girl asked for my number. I immediately said I didn’t have a phone (bad lie) and it wasn’t because I didn't want to, mainly I was totally shocked by the request that I got scared so I lied (I still regret, and don’t quite understand this, to the day).

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 26

The start of football season is just around the corner which means I’m getting peer pressured to join Fantasy Football Leagues (dibs on team name "Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters"), planning road trips (Oct 24th A-town, child please!) and checking out the lines for the upcoming year. Last year I was only three games away from pulling in six grand and high jacking a plane to awesomeville so this year I feel like I have some expectations to live up to. As always I’ll take a look at the over under for the Bengals (8, if I was a betting man I’d take the over; and I am so I will), odds at winning the Super Bowl (off the board right now, thanks a ton Brett) and I’ve added one this year that is the over under of phone calls I’ll make before being able to get a doctor’s appointment.

Finding a doctor that will see you without insurance is about as easy as Pittsburg Steelers fans acting like they’re not conceded pricks. When I left the hospital in Cincinnati (Southside!) I was first a participant in a study being conducted through the hospital and UC so I was “lucky enough” to see a doctor once a week for 10 weeks. I used the air quotes for lucky enough sarcastically in case anyone was running a little slow today. I suppose I should be grateful for the help I received while in the study but it just became annoying. Every week I had the opportunity to be a learning tool for a new assistant still getting the hang of taking blood (that was as fun as it sounds). Then I was able to describe my emotions and feelings and mania to someone who really can’t relate. It seems to me that being in a manic episode and then trying to describe this to someone who hasn’t would compare to trying to describe a sunset to a blind person, it’s just something you need to experience. In any manner at least I was seeing a doc and having my prescription wrote (written? wrought? whatever).

Once I left the study I was aligned with an organization that was a sort of middleman to align me with the guys with the good stuff (really starting to sound like a drug deal, probably because it is). My first assessment determined that I was an addict and attempted to put me in outpatient rehab (no thank you) where my behavior to addiction would be emphasized and mental health put to the side. This of course would have been great if I was addicted to anything other than being sweet and I wasn't diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and suffering from chronic psychotic episodes (but I’m sure Bud Light is my problem). So next I’m referred to a service that concentrates on addressing my mental condition and issues but alas I don’t have a medicare/caide/whoknows card (because I never conducted my phone interview, of which I was never called so naturally that’s my fault) so they can’t accept me. After sliding my doc a few extra bones (I kid I kid) he wrote me a prescription and I took off for the city of wind (mistake).

After three phone calls, two denials, one unreturned message and a near episode I decide to move back to Ohio (there were a few other stories in there that I’ll share when I’m more comfortable with our relationship). So now I’m back in Clark County (largest metal grain bin in the Midwest) and back to my search for help. To be fair since I’ve returned I’ve made five phone calls since last week and I’m still without an appointment so I’m going to put the over under at 9. This I believe is a fair enough money to attract betters on both sides of the line and provide a little change in my pocket (there’s plenty of room, it’s not like I have my medicine in there or anything).

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,