Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 39

I am so thankful for having my libido back!

Ok now that we got that out of the way in honor of Thanksgiving let’s get down to what’s really important. Come Friday I will be on my way down to Charlotte for Cuzin Jen’s wedding and I couldn’t be more excited for those southern belles (making a country boy from Ohio get down on his knees and beg for more, haha). So in honor of hunting season and to celebrate my sex drive returning (so weird I know) we’re going on a little hunt this weekend and to accompany me on this epic adventure will be my wingman, brother, and all around good guy Poncho.

I spent 18 months in Atlanta posing as an apprentice/account executive at the tizzle to learn the culture and ways of the southern belle. These women are so far different than anything I’ve encountered in my life (they’re nice and sweet more than once every three Saturdays) and it takes dedication, passion, balance, and awareness (.e4 reference) to attract one of these beauties so we’ll have our work cut out for us.

In preparation for the hunt I spent last Friday out in the Nasty drinking a few (conspiracy theory alert) and casually watching my friends pull some random intoxicated girl into their car and speed away (don’t worry we found them at the next bar). As I mentioned my libido has recently resurfaced which is great for me and really bad for the single women in a 60 mile radius of Grape Grove (btw I tried the singles night at the Grape Grove Church of Christ, not really the turnout I was looking for). For some unknown and unfair reason whenever I’m manic or depressed or recovering from one of the two from this BMD I lose my sex drive (I’m still a man and do seize the moment if it arises but my heart isn’t really into it, which probably drops me from a 5 to a 3). This equates to about 30 days in the past three years that my libido was alive and kicking.

Needless to say I’m back in the game and have the bruises on my chest/nips from our tagalong mentioned earlier to prove it (she was such a giver). Now I know the belles will not fall for anything close to resembling that effort on my part (I once had to spend 7 months ignoring one just to get her to notice me, it was well worth it though just ask most of my southern guy friends, they’d agree). In all fairness this girl did have a pet alligator growing up and if she was from up here I would have had to fight off a dozen bandannas with I <3 vagina t-shirts (if you have to buy merchandise that reads “I <3 Vagina”, I don’t think you’re getting much of it) every time we went out, yea she was pretty.

I guess the point of this post is that with Poncho’s uncanny whimsical pick up lines (How much does a polar bear weigh?) and my keen knowledge of the southern belle should provide ourselves with a fairly eventful trip down south. I’ll be sure to let you all know how things turn out but I have a real good feeling about this. I haven’t felt this good in awhile almost like I’m finally accepting what I am suppose to be with this BMD. I’m really glad it included my libido, I’m just hoping if I am successful on my thanksgiving hunt that she wants to keep the lights off, I don’t know how I’d explain the bruises.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!



Coming Correct,
d01roK

Friday, November 19, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 38

I cry it out of me
I laugh it out of me
I run it out of me
I write it out of me
I lift it out of me
I rage it out of me
I drive it out of me
I medicate it out of me
I drink it out of me
I dance it out of me
I fight it out of me
I smoke it out of me
I sing it out of me
I play it out of me
I type it out of me
I ski it out of me
I yell it out of me
I pray it out of me
I work it out of me
I golf it out of me
I shoot it out of me
I star-gaze it out of me
I read it out of me
I relax it out of me
I celebrate it out of me
I battle it out of me
I care it out of me
I draw it out of me
I trick it out of me
I force it out of me
I hate it out of me
I love it out of me


It is me…


Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!



Coming Correct,
d01roK

Friday, November 12, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 37

“As much hell as it’s been the past three years, and I know it’s been hell Derek, Bipolar Disorder does have its gifts, maybe small but they are there.”

I forgot how much I love the country night sky. The past week I took a couple nights to wander out into the pasture beside the house to get away (or look like a crazy person standing in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere). It’s been ten years since I’ve been truly back to the country and I missed how peaceful it can be (and how irritating, Mickey Mouse 3-Derek 0).

I use to spend just about every fall/winter night in our hot tub getting away from it all and being lost in the night sky (well at mom’s at least, Stubby’s is a different story). Some people I suppose use meditation, some read, others veg out in front of the tube, some drive to nowhere, others watch sunsets to free themselves, I just prefer the cliché 1970’s porn set of a hot tub at night under the stars (just a romantic at heart I suppose).

So of course with the way things have been going lately our hot tub dies a couple weeks ago. To compensate for this I wandered out to the pasture this week to look up at the sky. After the coyotes stopped crying (just about right on que) and the dogs stopped howling I found myself surrounded by nothing, it was great.

It was cool out and the wind had died down from the day with the night breeze minimal at best. The air was calm and the world seemed asleep, I was alone out there and I wasn’t scared of that fact for the first time in awhile. I lifted my head and caught a glimpse of a shooting star in the East and literally laughed aloud. I hadn’t seen a shooting star in so long I forgot they even existed. At about the time I get back to focusing on the sky another shooting star came from the West (I literally looked like a crazy person when I started laughing aloud to myself at the sheer sight of this second shooting star). The next time I went out I saw two more shooting stars in the sky and it made me glad I didn’t swallow those pills three years ago.

My new counselor and I have been working on taking a new perspective or approach to fighting this BMD. Focusing on the little gifts it provides that seem so insignificant at first. Similar to falling rocks in space that seemingly have no purpose or reason to exist aside to fall; up until they hit Earth’s atmosphere and begin to heat up and burn. Glowing hotter and hotter one by one they light up the country sky giving me a show I can’t pay for in any theater, cinema, or venue (and also making me look crazy).

That’s the reason I haven’t let quitting my job bother me, I’m starting to see the little gifts in my life more and more.

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!



Coming Correct,
d01roK

Friday, November 5, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 36

Letter of Resignation (Health Reasons)

Hello (Radio Edit),

I wanted to begin this letter by thanking you and (Radio Edit) with this opportunity that I was looking forward to. However the past three years I have been battling a health issue that I was confident we had under control. Unfortunately symptoms reappeared during training yesterday and after discussions with my doctors they have advised me to take the treatment in another direction. This change in treatment will require me to resign effective immediately to concentrate on my health. My apologies for this as no one is more disappointed than me but my health must take priority over my career at this point.

Thank you once again for your time,
Good luck in the future,
Derek L. Thompson

I am becoming quite comfortable (and quite good I might add) at writing these letters of resignation you see above. When I started at the tizzle (that’s AT&T unhipsters) I recall one of my apprentice (scarily they gave me three to train, of which one is needing some help so visit htt p://www.voteforalexdaily.com to vote) remarking that I would be a lifer. I didn’t object to it the least bit, I enjoyed my job and the people I worked with so I didn’t see any immediate reason to leave (a psychotic manic episode changes that of course). I guess the point I’m driving to is that I never imagined myself quitting a job after college, now I’ve quit four in the past three years (isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?).

What’s new about this last resignation is that while I’m disappointed it didn’t work out I’m not the least bit frustrated with it. Following the previous three resignations I was so upset and frustrated that it took me a month to get my head straight (this time it took from the drive from Nashville to Louisville, not too shabby). I think there are two reasons for this change; I saw it coming and my new doc’s (amazing I know).

My first day of training went really well and I enjoyed myself. That night I laid down and nothing went through my mind (well about 2 or 3 thoughts at a time but that’s nothing to me). I was able to focus without much work and my mind was at peace. I wasn't tensed up at all and I was completely relaxed with a calm sensation engulfing me, it was great. For the first time in years I wasn’t wound a little tight, my mind wasn’t chasing ideas from here to there and back. I felt at peace…something was wrong with how good I felt.

I was right, an hour and a half into my next day of training my head began to hurt and my stomach felt nauseous. I step outside to get some air and it hits me, I spend the next couple of hours fighting off my mania has it comes at me in waves sending me up and down and bringing me to my knees until I give up and quit my job and drive home. I’m just glad I saw it coming and was able to catch it before something a lot worse than quiting my job resulted (see psyche ward entries).

TBC…

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!



Coming Correct,
d01roK