Friday, June 15, 2012

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 4 Issue 21

I was able to catch the classic “Major League II” the other day for a few minutes and by some kind of luck it was at this scene:

Rube Baker: Hey. Ya know Ricky, breaking up with a girlfriend can be a very painful thing. But it don't have to keep ya down for long. I mean, let me tell ya something from my own personal experience. I've never had a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought I would be hurting for the rest of my life. But you know what happened the very next week? 
Rick Vaughn:What? 
Rube Baker: My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm gettin' at? 

The subtle genius of Rube is pretty evident and I’ll get to his role in my life but first let’s take a look at my favorite quote from him in that movie:

Rube Baker: They're going to send me back to Omaha and I don't even live there! 

I know this isn’t really that funny to everybody else in the world but it hits close to home for me. For like the first year or so at AT&Tizzle my boss thought I was from Wyoming for some reason. I was always scared they were going to fire me and send me back to Wyoming where I didn’t live (I guess you just had to be there).

Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself what in the hell does Rube’s swollen balls and deceased mother have to do with me? I admit it; it’s a valid question. Well lately in my life I’ve been able to also relate to Rube’s mule issues because they hit close to home (fun farm fact: a mule is part horse and part donkey; don’t quote me on that I’m not a farmer). I’ve discussed how I’ve been cleared to return back to school and to actually attempt to get some resemblance of my healthy life back. It’s a pretty sweet deal considering I haven’t had a healthy life in four years.

I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that now that I’m healthy, reducing my dosage for crazy pills (that are really only salt so stop judging me) and just a few months from my Master’s is that my mind should be content as a camel. But it’s not; now that I’m healthy I no longer spend an inordinate amount of my time worrying about everything from psych wards to depression but am now seeing how much I have to make up in my life.

Now that I’m not purely concentrating on trying to get healthy, find insurance, get a doc I can stand and deal with the rest of the sideshow that accompanies mental health I’m realizing I have a ways to go. I wouldn’t say I’m jealous or envious of the people around me; OK yeah I am. It’s not that I don’t want others to be happy and getting the most out of everything in their lives but I’m not sure why I don’t get a shot at it. It’s been four years of one hell of a journey and I feel at times I have very little to show for it. Four years ago I would have imagined myself in a bungalow on the beach killing it at the tizzle at this point of my life not bitching in the middle of a corn field; but I guess you’ll have that.

I think I just need to get a good kick in the nuts to get my mind off of the aspects in my life that are considerably behind where I’d like them to be. But honestly by just stopping bitching about it and appreciating the fact that I’m finally healthy would more than likely be the best remedy (I’ll probably try that way first).

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

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