I was able
to catch the classic “Major League II” the other day for a few minutes and by
some kind of luck it was at this scene:
Rube Baker: Hey. Ya know Ricky,
breaking up with a girlfriend can be a very painful thing. But it don't have to
keep ya down for long. I mean, let me tell ya something from my own personal
experience. I've never had a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked
in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought I would be hurting for the rest of
my life. But you know what happened the very next week?
Rick Vaughn:What?
Rube Baker: My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm gettin' at?
Rick Vaughn:What?
Rube Baker: My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm gettin' at?
The subtle genius of
Rube is pretty evident and I’ll get to his role in my life but first let’s take
a look at my favorite quote from him in that movie:
Rube Baker: They're going to send me
back to Omaha and I don't even live there!
I know this isn’t
really that funny to everybody else in the world but it hits close to home for
me. For like the first year or so at AT&Tizzle my boss thought I was from
Wyoming for some reason. I was always scared they were going to fire me and
send me back to Wyoming where I didn’t live (I guess you just had to be there).
Now I’m sure you’re
asking yourself what in the hell does Rube’s swollen balls and deceased mother
have to do with me? I admit it; it’s a valid question. Well lately in my life I’ve
been able to also relate to Rube’s mule issues because they hit close to home
(fun farm fact: a mule is part horse and part donkey; don’t quote me on that I’m
not a farmer). I’ve discussed how I’ve been cleared to return back to school
and to actually attempt to get some resemblance of my healthy life back. It’s a
pretty sweet deal considering I haven’t had a healthy life in four years.
I guess what I’m
trying to get at here is that now that I’m healthy, reducing my dosage for
crazy pills (that are really only salt so stop judging me) and just a few months
from my Master’s is that my mind should be content as a camel. But it’s not; now
that I’m healthy I no longer spend an inordinate amount of my time worrying
about everything from psych wards to depression but am now seeing how much I
have to make up in my life.
Now that I’m not
purely concentrating on trying to get healthy, find insurance, get a doc I can
stand and deal with the rest of the sideshow that accompanies mental health I’m
realizing I have a ways to go. I wouldn’t say I’m jealous or envious of the
people around me; OK yeah I am. It’s not that I don’t want others to be happy
and getting the most out of everything in their lives but I’m not sure why I
don’t get a shot at it. It’s been four years of one hell of a journey and I feel
at times I have very little to show for it. Four years ago I would have imagined
myself in a bungalow on the beach killing it at the tizzle at this point of my
life not bitching in the middle of a corn field; but I guess you’ll have that.
I think I just need
to get a good kick in the nuts to get my mind off of the aspects in my life
that are considerably behind where I’d like them to be. But honestly by just
stopping bitching about it and appreciating the fact that I’m finally healthy
would more than likely be the best remedy (I’ll probably try that way first).
Since many of my manic experiences
involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my
enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!
Coming Correct,
d01roK
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