Friday, June 8, 2012

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol. 4 Issue 20

I had my first bad day on Monday for the first time in a pretty long time. In fact I think they last bad day I had was last summer during the preseason of the NFL on the Saturday after the Bengals played the Panthers on Thursday night. How do I remember with such detail, well because of this story of Jamin (sorry man you’re somehow always in the middle of my bullshit), myself and the starting Tight End for the Bengals.

The first time that night a black man yelled my name across the club it was Jamin and he wanted to know if the guy sitting a few seats down was Jermaine Gresham. So I yelled Jermaine’s name and he looked up and I told Jamin: “Yep, that’s Jermaine Gresham” and I went back to talking to a group of black girls leaving Jamin to deal with the now staring at him NFL Tight End (I was a little amazed I was able to do this; talk to black girls that is).

A few minutes later another black man yelled my name across the club but this time it wasn’t Jamin, it was the 6’5” 260lb Bengals first round draft pick out of Oklahoma tight end Jermaine Gresham.  This is when my bad day starts and as I walk over to Jermaine I must have been rattled because supposedly I stepped on his boy’s shoe (impossible but I go along). I apologize to his boy’s shoe and his boy but it wasn’t enough. Jermaine was out to humiliate me (I don’t really blame him). I had to apologize to his boy’s shoes again and then guess who his boy was (I guessed right, it was Bernard Scott). Luckily the NFL player’s only weakness at night, chubby drunk white girls, approached Jermaine and I was free to go.

In hindsight that night really wasn’t all that terrible but it felt bad when I was walking across the club with Jermaine Gresham staring me down. That’s probably a good thing meaning my meds are working and I’m not as unstable as I used to be (I was batshit in The Nasty looking back now) but my doc did say I was going to have bad days no matter what (no cure remember). Monday was a bad day where I couldn’t get past everything I didn’t have. For no reason it seems like I’m overcome with immense guilt and shame of my situation during these bad days.

It’s really crazy now to think about just how difficult Monday was because nothing in my life has really changed in the four days since then. Nothing that I was dwelling over and worrying about on Monday has had any sort of a resolution today yet I’m fine today. In fact I was fine on Tuesday and have been feeling just great the days since Monday. That’s so bizarre that something so influential on my overall health and well-being, something that can bring me to my knees for an entire day is just gone the next day. What in the hell is it?

I don’t know; hell nobody really knows. I just try to learn from those times and be thankful my bad days are a lot fewer and far between than they used to be. I also tried to remind myself of a quote that I read on some random website about life throughout my bad day on Monday that seemed to help: “Over prepare, then just go with the flow.”

Oh just in case you were wondering (I’m sure you weren’t though) just for shits and giggles whenever Jermaine Gresham scores a touchdown now I always text Jamin:

“I stepped on his boy’s shoes!!!”

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

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