This is quite possibly the toughest letter I’ve ever had to write (although I’m pretty sure this is only my second letter ever written, minus pen pals, and the previous one was to Jamie Spears, what was with me and the Spears sisters during my episode? Jeez) so please bare with me as I make may way through this. First off I want to say it’s me and not you, now I know this is such a common excuse to end a relationship but in this case it’s absolutely true. You know what, now that I’ve thought about that last statement for a minute I know you deserve the truth and I should be nothing but honest to you, so it is you and this is all completely your fault. But don’t be too hard on yourself; we did have some good times together.
I can still recall our first date like it was yesterday, I was a young boy looking for adventure and fun and you came into my life in the form of MD 20/20 (grape of course) ready to open my eyes to endless pleasures. We spent the night cruising around the back farm roads just holding hands (well I was holding the bottle, but same difference) and looking at the stars. I should have known that night that this would never work but it felt so right, even during the final four hours of being passed out in the back of my best friend’s car as you wrecked havoc to my system (ahhh memories). After that night it seemed like we just took off with no desire to look back, we spent weekends together and you could always pick me up when I was feeling down. No matter what was going on in my life it seemed like you were always there to pick me up (and eventually lay me down beside the toilet, but beggars can’t be choosers).
Now while our time together was great you know what you do to me now. Let’s take for example last Sunday and Monday when you sent me into a debacle of a manic state. Sure I heart doing jager bombs with the rest of them and I know you have solid relationships with a majority of my friends but I somehow doubt that you send them on the same crazy ride as you do to me now. I know I may sound a little bit like a hypocrite because we’ve talked about how mania can be enjoyable at times, but that’s when I’m in control (or as close to control as I can be, please stop judging me). After a night with you the next day is just a little too much out of control for me and I deserve better. I know you’re going to be fine and will no doubtedly find someone else real soon (in fact I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that at one time there is always around 5% of people drunk around the world) so you’ve more than likely already moved on.
Even if this is the fact I wanted to say thank you for the great times we had together and give you some things as tokens of my appreciation. The first is a haiku of my feelings:
You’ve shown me beauty
And took it right back away
It was a fun ride
Ok maybe that poem doesn’t really illustrate my feelings so I’ll go ahead and dedicate this video that I think pretty much nails it.
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!