Monday, April 26, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 14

Ok guys are we ready to have some fun this week on “Dating Is Crazy”? Our single bachelor is a farm kid from Ohio who left the cornfields for the big city. Let’s get right to it, Derek can you describe how the date went?

Would love to Ron, let me try to piece it all back together for everyone.

There were a number of times when things would get a little weird for me during my episodes. Aligning the curtains in my hospital room to conceal me and thus embody the man behind the curtain (Wizard of Oz reference for ya), the wearing of two hospital gowns front to back for my robe, and my relentless approach at trying to “heal” or help the others around me. I must admit the hospital staff really didn’t do much to help either. The whole sterile suit they put on to enter a possible tuberculosis patient's room but then to see that patient walking the halls just an hour afterwards doesn’t really help me get back to reality (it really freaked me out). About this point in my episode I’m extremely delusional and have become trapped between some sort of world of reality and fantasy (pretty wicked right).

The first night was the roughest by far, after the tranquilizer (or whatever they gave me) wore off I became absolutely terrified. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was, I knew a hospital but I was convinced it wasn’t (see how it gets confusing). The better part of my night was spent in the hallway crouched down rocking and trying to pull it together. Another patient came out and consoled me (it formed a connection I’m still unsure about today) while a male nurse talked me up. He use to be in the service and he kept on me for the majority of the night whenever he’d happen to walk by me in the hall. I finally work up the courage to shower (I’d been awake and manic for around 3 days at this point, a shower is in due).

Of course the ward (Southside!) doesn’t have a simple showering unit, that would make entirely too much sense. Instead of a single or even dual dial unit this shower has like four and string thing, and lever and faucet on the lower right hand side (I had to walk out to make sure it was the shower and not the janitors closet or something). After pushing the button six times I basically gave up on my shower and went to bed.

Because I’m a seasoned veteran on this whole psych ward dynamic I know that who I sit by for my first meal is big deal (the wrong choice has severe consequences, trust me). I scanned the tables and saw a blonde haired, blue eyed, girl sitting alone so I sit down. No one is talking to anyone and this is weird because the last ward I was in everyone talked (those little things really got to me). I start out with a real coy line like; “How’s the food?”. It’s of course not very good but J. Rabbit helps me with figuring out the menu (a lot tougher than it sounds) and tells me she’s a student and why she’s in here. She excuses herself and leaves to play cards (it’s funny how we all have our things we use to try to get some normality in there; I did puzzles).

Unlike many BMD’s I actually lose my libido during my episodes. It’s more common for someone to make irrational and unsafe sexual decisions when they have episodes but I completely lose my sex drive (it’s really weird and I don’t like it so much). J. Rabbit actually sparked it back into me a little bit and that was a little weird (ya know being in a psych ward and all).


Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

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