There’s those few and far between moments in my life when I hear something and I’m totally caught off guard. At these occurrences of rarity in my life I can more than likely be thinking:
“Holy Shit! I really wasn’t expecting that.”
One of the first of these times of astonishment and awe happened when I was in high school. I was visiting my G’Pa and G’Ma when G’Pa stole the show and took over the story for my G’Ma who was “telling it all wrong!” I’m not sure why but we were talking about when I was born. Being the oldest grandson of a multi-generational farming family I was expecting to hear a story about maybe how proud and happy they were when I was born. But then again I am talking about my G’Pa so I should have known better.
Instead I received the story on how perplexed everyone in the community was because I was such an ugly baby (I wish I was making this up). He went on to say he couldn’t believe how such a good looking couple like my mom and dad could have such an ugly baby. To make things better for me he mentioned another baby in the community who was recently born and who was ugly as well with great looking parents (it really didn’t make me feel any better at the time).
What got me thinking about this was the conversation I had with my new doc in Xenia (wait a minute; Xenia=Twister=Wizard of Oz=my mania; weird) I had a couple weeks back. I must say that I really like this new guy (btw that reminds me a huge thank you to my Aunt (sort of) for getting me into to see him, your wish is now my command) and its not only because he said he thought I was the most insightful person with bipolar disorder he’s ever met (who am I kidding, that’s a big part of the reason). Actually we get along for a couple of reasons and one important one is that he made me think: “Holy Shit! I really wasn’t expecting that.”
I’ve made it pretty evident that I do not get along well with docs (but damn it they can be a pain in the ass at times). My main trust issue falls into the belief they are not serving my needs as the patient as their number one priority. As if they have their own agendas that they’re worried a hell of a lot more than they worry about my needs; these usually involve a new “wonder drug” they’ve had so much success with in the past treating (or should I say masking) bipolar disorder. I was fully prepared for another marketing pitch to me in the doc’s office that felt a whole lot like the sales presentations I used to make to potential clients at AT&Tizzle.
But rather my new doc dived into his belief that there were only two drugs (depakote and lithium) that should be used to treat bipolar disorder mania, end all be all, and the end. “Holy Shit! I wasn’t expecting that.” It was utterly refreshing to finally meet another doc (El Doc the other) that took the no nonsense, cut through the bullshit approach to not only treating but understanding this BMD. Not once did I hear him even mention another drug which is a warm welcome from the usual bombardment of medical propaganda I’m used to receiving in docs offices.
It feels pretty damn good to think I’ve got someone on my side that gets it, it’s even helping me deal with the self-image issues I have somehow acquired about my looks (you can grow out of ugliness, right?).
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!