Half way
creative bipolar man seeking extremely talented musician for accompaniment for
a potentially “Sweeping the Nation” single. Lyrics already provided merely
seeking melody, rhythm, pitch, and musical presence that ‘gets the people going’.
Any and all interested parties please reach out to the comment section of this
post with contact information.
Prior to
my episodes I was never really known for my writing; in fact I was absolutely
terrible at it. English was my least favorite subject in school (History and Art
here, yeah using both sides of my brain totally makes sense now, bipolar
remember?). On my ACT I would have scored about three or four points higher if
it hadn’t been for my below acceptable English scores (yeah Mom made me take it
twice) on the exam. I’m not sure why I sucked so bad with writing but it was
definitely evident.
I was absolutely
horrible with run-on sentences (I mean I am manic though), grammar (Kelsey is
the only Grammer I care about, terrible joke I know), and punctuation was just
another example of one of my arch-nemeses (BTW I recently saw a bikini picture
of Kristen Cavallari and even though I did not think it was possible it made me
hate Jay Cutler even more). I could dive into why I think writing and English were
not my faves but it’s more than likely because I thought I sucked at it.
It
reminds me of why I ran track through high school and college (well until I
jacked up my ankle trying to sled down the snow covered hill at the track on my butt, way to
be smart Derek). I, like any normal person, really don’t care much for running,
in fact it sucks. However I really like winning hence the reason I ran track
(OK confession time, my first 400 meter hurdle race in college my girlfriend
actually ran a faster time in her400 hurdle race-but she was on scholarship
damn it) and no one I’ve ever met enjoys the pain and suffering one feels after
running a 55.6 second (personal record) 400 meter hurdle race (that was totally
dropped in there to make myself feel better about my girlfriend kicking my ass
in the earlier comment). Sucking at something really makes me not want to do
it.
That’s
why after my freshman year in college I never took any more English or writing
classes. I didn’t particularly enjoy writing and that was evident by my persistent
procrastination to write term papers. I guess it’s really weird to think that
now because one of my biggest tools in fighting this BMD is sitting here
writing (the world is a crazy place). I’m really glad I’ve found something to
release the craziness inside and it’s really growing on me, I mean I actually
look forward to our weekly chats. I’m thankful for that, I couldn’t imagine
trying to fight this without writing (it also helps that I’m pretty sure I don’t
totally suck any more at it-well my editor would disagree with some of that,
especially my punctuation and grammar, but at least I’m trying to get better).
In honor
of this semi-new revelation of mine I’m actually going to share with all of you
the first thing I wrote. It wasn’t a post, or story, or anything of prose form
but actually a song. I wrote it sitting in the seal truck a few years ago to
offset my boredom (no radio is the pits man). This song is of course only
lyrics because I definitely can’t write music which is why I put out the call
for help at the beginning of this post. Nonetheless it still makes me laugh and
I hope you all enjoy it as well. It’s called “Worst Enemy”.
All I wanted to
do was stay home with my girl and watch a movie
All I wanted to
do was have her pick out a new DVD
All I wanted to
do was introduce her to my good friend Ron Jeremy
But as we walked
thru the porn shop door
She walked right past
those DVD’s, she walked right to the back to my worst enemy
Vibrator,
Vibrator this is your song
Vibrator,
Vibrator you did me so wrong
Vibrator,
Vibrator why are you so long
Vibrator,
Vibrator stop being a bush hog
All I wanted to
do was open her mind to new experiences
All I wanted to
do was have threesome with one of her friends
All I wanted to
do was her best friend Jen
But as Jen walked
thru the bedroom door
She walked right past
me and headed to the drawer and my worst enemy
Vibrator,
Vibrator this is your song
Vibrator,
Vibrator you did me so wrong
Vibrator,
Vibrator why are you so long
Vibrator,
Vibrator stop being a bush hog
All I wanted to
do was have a simple night alone
All I wanted to
do was call a sex line on the phone
All I wanted to
do was play with my own bone
But as I started
to crank my mind started to think
Just how good
could it be with my worst enemy
Vibrator,
Vibrator you rest in my palm
Vibrator,
Vibrator I switch you on
Vibrator,
Vibrator my you’re so loooong
Vibrator,
Vibrator this was your song
Since many of my manic experiences
involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my
enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!
Coming Correct,
d01roK
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