I really need to begin this post off with an apology. To the woman (of course) driving down I-71 South this morning on the way to The Nasty in her white four door, I’m really sorry. This (I swear) is only my second real experience with what some would call road rage. I apologize for riding your bumper and laying on the horn. I shouldn’t have been giving you the finger or yelling out how intelligent I thought you weren’t. You just caught me on a bad day but that’s no excuse, I’m sincerely sorry.
Not that there’s any chance that this woman would ever read this blog (she’s not cool enough) but I felt I needed to publicly apologize for my behavior (whether it was rightfully deserved or not (it was though)). Pre-episodes I was always too busy dancing in my car to get any kind of worked up about being cut off. Since my episode deuce I’ve road raged twice, nothing too serious but I wanted to let the other drivers know I was pissed (pretty sure they got the point). It’s almost a little gratifying for me to experience rage or any other emotion other than the classic “What am I gonna do with my life now?” feeling I’ve had lately so I’m not too upset about my behavior.
I was on my way down to The Nasty this morning to drop off my car (big body beamer) since the lease is up this weekend. I suppose that was the reason that I wasn’t having the best day. Even though I wasn’t sad or disappointed that I couldn’t keep the car (when you’re on a sabbatical from life a beamer payment doesn’t equate well) it did feel as though what was my life three years ago is all but gone now.
While driving it for the last time I began thinking about my first ride from Colorado Springs back to Denver with my first big boy purchase ever. I was taking a lateral move for the tizzle but it meant a step up in terms of module size and responsibilities (basically a promotion but without the cake). I was moving to outside sales and felt it was more practical and professional to pick up clients in something other than a lifted jeep wrangler (jeep wave). I was moving to California in a matter of weeks and after three years of getting my tail kicked in I felt like the j-o-b was starting to click.
Of course we all know what happens next but I’ll still try to summarize in case; running around half naked through apartment building, obsessive showering, Jimi Hendrix, house climbing, attempted car jumping, CIA, no handlebars, spiritual mission, roof sliding, cable snakes, Guitar Hero, good vs. evil, psych ward, bipolar.
At about this point in my mind wandering the old lady deliberately cut me off to save being stuck behind a semi (she did use her blinker which she probably thought meant it was ok). So once again I’m sorry for the scare and rage on my end. However I’d also like to thank you because I had forgotten what it felt like to have passion for something. The past few months I haven’t felt anything other than concern for what’s going to happen next rather than enjoying the ride. So while I really hope the whole road rage is behind me I’m pretty glad it happened, I think sometimes I get too ahead of myself by looking in the past. I get caught up on where I’ve been rather than seeing what’s happening right in front of me. Thanks lady for being a shitty driver, it turned my day around.
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!