Thursday, August 19, 2010

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 2 Issue 28

How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Derek.

Now what women could resist that charm and humor? Well apparently at least three from The Nasty via (I couldn’t believe it either).

A peculiar new thing my mania has decided to start playing with me on is my self confidence. I’ve never really had a problem with this before (some may say a bit dickish, but you’ll have that) because I was usually pretty confident in the person I was. I had everything planned out in my head on how my life would take shape. I’m sure just about everyone does this whether they intend to or not, human nature I suppose.

However the farm gene that seems to be in all my relatives somehow missed me (it just kind of skipped me for some reason, probably to make room for the whole BMD gene, what’s the odds?) so growing up I knew in order to make it I’m going to have to educate myself. So that’s of course what I did (liked it so much I repeated kindergarten and my senior collegiate year (graduating college in four years is like leaving the party at ten)) and once I finally appeared to be graduating I took the next step and got a job. I worked hard and found success and could see my plan coming together.

This of course came to a screeching halt (figuratively and literally as I tried to drive my car off the top of a parking garage, who does that?) during episode uno. I saw everything I worked for disappear which included my confidence. Coming to terms with my psychotic manic episodes filled with hallucinations and delusions actually came pretty easy to me (so weird I know). Yet finding worth in myself is something I struggle with on a nearly daily basis.

So in order to counter this I decided to give myself a little pick me up. You know go after the sure thing to boost the ole self esteem and get you back on track. When I had to resign from my internship in the city of wind and knew I would be having to move back home and basically start over again I needed a boost. I needed something that would be a fun activity to entertain myself for the next month until I moved and boost my confidence (of course I immediately thought of online dating).

That whole eHarmony jazz looks way too complicated for me (how do you order a date, it kind of feels like prostitution) so I hopped on board for one month of service at My idea was to write about my online dating experiences to provide even further entertainment for my readers (I’m so dedicated to you all). I’m not the greatest at reality dating so I figured I’d be even worse online and it would be hilarious. I also felt this would be the self-confidence booster I needed to pick me up after falling on my face again. I mean how hard can it be to get some action via online dating right?

Wrong, I once again amazed myself at how bad I must be at this whole dating thing considering I got zero, I repeat zero, responses from my polar bear line (I will admit rejection online is a lot easier to deal with though).

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

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