Seeing how the NFL kicked off its season last week I feel I have an obligation to cover some aspect of the opening weekend (I think they would revoke my man card if I didn’t). Seeing how I’m not one to sit and analyze the games or try to predict the future (although I did time travel in Denver, or at least my running around the apartment complex barefooted while racing the elevators from floor to floor felt like time traveling) I’ve decided to give you a couple of points to ponder from my observations. Numero uno is that I am no longer on speaking terms with the city of Denver. This is a bit sad to admit as I always felt like our relationship would somehow rebound after the episode but it’s evident Denver wants nothing to do with me. I knew we were in trouble after I found the city to be negligent (can you tell I’m taking a law class in Grad school or what) after my episode but I retained hope that someday we could make up and be happy again. While I was open to trying this Denver obviously had different intentions when it symbolically ripped my heart out and wiped its butt with it from the play I’m simply calling The Tip (I refuse to go into more detail because it hurts too much). Next I’ve always thought it would be hilarious and utterly downright fun to have a little person (I’m pretty sure that is PC but if not to the whole five people that read this I’m sorry if I offended you) dress up in the same outfit that I was wearing and follow me around for a day. I wouldn’t acknowledge the creepiness involved or for that matter that they were even there despite the fact I would have them mimic my every move. However it was pointed out to me that I would simply be ripping off the intellectual property (another law term, on fire) of Mike Myers and I don’t want to get on the bad side of the Canadians so I dropped the idea. After this weekend I’ve decided that I would want to hire one of the professional water boys of the NFL to follow me around for a day. I’d have them dress up in green and black, wear .e4 gear along with my logo (that’s the thing to the right on the blog, we’ll get to that one day as well, once again control your excitement) and every so often I’d blow a whistle and stop the clock for a timeout and have them squirt water into my mouth while they covered my chin with a towel (a little weird but so refreshing).
Now that I feel I’ve done my due diligence as a man to comment on football this past weekend I’ll go ahead and talk a little bit about what brought me to those observations. My Step-Dad made his way down to The Nasty this weekend as we had plans to attend a fly fishing school on Saturday and the Bengals game on Sunday (all in all a nice little weekend despite the misery associated with being an Ohio football fan this weekend, I’ve since decided that I’m jumping on the UC Bearcats bandwagon, I figure if all the Steelers fans can do it why can’t I be a front runner). On Friday night we decided to try a local Brazilian Steakhouse downtown and it was the bomb diggity (that means good). During din din we got to talking and stumbled upon the topic of what I think would have happened if I never moved to Denver and stayed in the ATL. To be completely honest I never really had given much thought to the idea (it may have passed through my mind before but it wasn’t anything I really dwelled on) because I felt that what happened was destined to happen no matter where I was. I’ve become a firm (haha I said firm, shouts out to my southern sis) believer that everything works out like it’s suppose to. And even if something strange, unpredictable, terrible, or horrific happens to you (say you believe you’re a soldier for the light fighting against the darkness of evil to protect a sacred blood line, or something to that effect) it’s what you do afterwards that defines you as a person. We continued our discussion with dissecting the “ifs” scenarios of staying in the ATL. “If you were in ATL do you think it would have happened?” “If you were in ATL do you think the episode would have been as severe?” “If you were in ATL do you think the episode would have lasted as long?” “If you were in ATL would you have long hair that was combed to the side while you wore boat shoes, short khaki shorts, and sunglass neck cords (ok that really didn’t come up in conversation but I had to take a little jab at the boys in the south, still got nothing but love for ya guys though). All in all after some thought I don’t know the answers to those if questions but I do know one thing about them. When I focus too much on the “ifs” in the world I am missing out on so much more, because they are all just part of life.
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!