And that was the second time I got crabs…
Nah I kid, I kid. But Splashgate was the first of the two times that year that I almost got kicked off the team before the first outdoor track meet (some of us are just born with leadership skills). So the very long winded point I was getting to is that spring is here and for the first time in four years I don’t feel like I have to look over my shoulder for the mania. It makes me so happy I wanna lick faces.
That probably needs some clarification as well, see I went through a phase in my twenties when I deemed it necessary to lick attractive young ladies faces while out at the bars. I really wish I could go into more detail about this phase of my life but I simply have no explanation. It would just seem whenever I’d get a few adult cocktails in my system instead of hitting on or even merely talking to the hotties at the bar I would decide it was a better idea to lick the side of their face (to accompany those leadership skills is my charm). I had forgotten about my face licking days until a victim reminded me with the greatest Facebook birthday message on my wall last week:
Sex (that’s just a nickname people): Oh shooooot happy bday u famous authorrrr, keep it soo real today and lick tons of faces
It has been a minute since I’ve licked faces and I think I’ve just been holding back and waiting for the right occasion to bring it back. It’s been four years since my first episode back in Denver and after thinking about it for another minute it occurred to me that’s also when my suave ladies’ man approach of licking faces was retired. I mean I understand why this trademark move of mine went into storage as I was concentrating on the whole psychosis thing. But that’s no excuse (actually it’s a damn good excuse) the single ladies of the world deserve the awkwardness and off-putting experience of face licking.
I’m still getting used to not having to worry about waking up every morning with some problem with my mania; for instance let’s say the world is burning up but everything smells like chocolate chip cookies (yeah hallucinations also include smell) but I will say somehow it smelled delightful yet terrifying. The lithium is working from the evidence that I’m not writing this from my third psych ward and I actually may be able to lower my dosage soon. It would make me feel a little bit better about myself if I wasn’t on the high end of dosage (it’s one thing to take crazy pills but whole other to have to take the highest dosage that your body can sustain without basically killing yourself) so bottom line I’m glad I can fall asleep at night without worrying about waking up in my third episode (I hope, I don’t want to jinx it, Karma don’t screw me now).
So to recap:
Spring+Splashgate+Leadership+Charm+Birthday+lithium=Face licking (get excited ladies).
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!