Friday, January 4, 2013

Life full of mania with a dash of humor and a slice of normality (those are the secret ingredients) Vol 5 Issue 1

So to begin the New Year instead of making a resolution to make changes and better myself I’m going to bitch about others (so ‘Merica of me I know). Seeing how I’ve been feeling rather shitty lately due to the depression I haven’t been very active. In fact I’ve read more books in the past couple weeks than in the whole previous year (that was only like one any ways). I’d squeeze my reading in between lulls in college football because everyone and God is watching the bowls you know.

Now it’s already been fairly well documented on this blog that I’m not real religious and don’t really get the traditions and what not. For instance the other day I was watching “student-athletes” play in a bowl game and after a player, let’s say an outside linebacker, comes up and makes a good play to stop the ball carrier at the line of scrimmage he does this move:

(If you’re playing at home that’s the first movie reference with video for .e4. I admit I’m still getting the hang of it so you can just go to 38 seconds to get to the punch line for this joke).

Although I’m pretty sure he wasn’t referring to Austin Powers and more likely was thanking his Christian God for making it 2nd and 10. Never mind that the play, which just lasted a whole five seconds or so is not even a cosmic asshole wink in the grand scheme of the Universe (or that it was first down for that matter) but it’s fascinating the player's belief that God cares more about him making the tackle than he does for the ball carrier (who happened to be a really nice fellow I'm told). So this got me intrigued with the whole spectacles testicles wallet and watch routine so I did some investigating (like I said I’m in depression and will do anything to pass the time).

What I found out (other than if you don’t do it in baseball before an at-bat your sabermetrics drop in all four of the major offensive MVP categories…nah I made that shit up) is that the “sign of the cross” is not merely used in Catholicism but other Christian branches (there went my joke about the outside linebacker not looking like he went to Mass regularly) and it’s a sign to open communication between yourself and God (he must have AT&T too because it’s awful in the country).

Speaking of speaking to God, I’ve been cursing Him a little bit lately (we have that kind of open loving relationship) because I’ve been feeling pretty terrible. This makes me get frustrated in the many aspects of my life that I’m finding unfulfilled and insignificant because of my depression and which I thus place blame on God for giving me bipolar disorder. The only problem is that I wasn’t getting any kind of response, not even when I dropped the F-Bomb. After the research session I think I know what the problem is now, I wasn't doing the testicles wallet and watch thing so he probably couldn't hear me. I'm going to change and try it next time so I guess there's one unexpected New Year's Resolution after all.

The only real problem with all this is that I’m not Christian so…depression you strike again ; damn you!!!

Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!

Coming Correct,

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