It’s pretty rare when I go through an entire week nowadays without finding some inspiration that I want to write about. When I first started this blog I had so many ideas running around in my head on what I wanted to talk about that I rarely found it when I couldn’t find a topic about BMD to write about. Last week however was one of those times when it seemed my inspiration was lacking.
There could be multiple reasons for this and a every one I’ve even considered in great detail. For instance maybe I was so consumed with the holiday season and what was going on that my BMD kind of took a back seat to more “pressing” concerns. Or maybe I’m actually getting a little healthier now that my BMD isn’t playing such a significant role in my day to day life (I severely doubt that though). But I’m guessing that I was simply being a little lazy (hey, it’s Christmas time you know). But a Christmas miracle (ok not really, but it was still pretty cool) changed all that yesterday and lucky for you I’m going to share.
To say that this BMD caught me and my entire family off guard would be nothing more than a giant understatement. I mean my dad told me awhile back that not only did he not know what BMD was he hadn’t even really ever heard of it. To be completely honest; my opinion of BMD was not far off from Stubby’s either, I had a basic idea of what it was but when you boil it down I really had no idea (unless you’d say calling your girlfriend bipolar for being a moody brat having a firm grasp on BMD, I was also rather clueless).
But can you really blame us? I mean there is zero family history. I never once, while growing up in South Chuck, ever heard someone be referenced to as actually having BMD and I definitely never met someone with it. The only perspectives I ever had on BMD came from the media (and they really aren’t known for how accurate they are when portraying mental health). Maybe it was because of all of these reasons and more that I decided I was going to embrace my BMD, laugh as much as possible with it, and live my life; not a life around BMD but one with it (I don’t think I really knew any better).
Last night at the Thompson Family Christmas (the live nativity scene has been postponed until the next generation in case you were wondering), I found the inspiration I’ve been talking about. It’s been nearly four years since my first episode and 2 years (still holding breath a little to get through this winter btw) since my last psych ward getaway. During this time I’ve grown and learned to laugh at everything that I’ve been given (well not everything, but I’m pretty damn close). I guess that’s just the way that I like to fight my BMD.
For a lot of people this may seem awkward or weird or uncomfortable (of course I’m sure they believe I have a mental illness) but it works for me. Over time I’ve begun to see not only my family but my close friends begin to warm to the idea of poking fun of my BMD; and I love it. It’s one thing to hear your brother or good friends burn you on your psychosis but a whole other when it’s your G’ma.
Last night G’ma was opening her gifts from everyone and one was a 1000 piece puzzle (she loves puzzles, maybe that’s where my psych ward past time comes from) of a peacock with its feathers up. It looked like quite a challenging and very difficult puzzle if I say so myself. I even mentioned how tough the puzzle looked with all the all colors and similar patterns and what not. To this my G’ma replied:
“I know Derek; I’m going to need your medicine to get through it.”
The first thing that came to my mind as I laughed was:
She gets it. I can’t believe she fuckin’ gets it. So awesome!
I hope you had a Merry Christmas and if I don’t see you a very Happy New Year!
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!