“Hello sports fans and welcome to primetime knee football. We are coming to you live today from the cornfields of central Ohio where the locals have deemed the playing field as ‘back the lane’. It’s not unknown around these parts that the fierce competition that usually results from these epic battles between brothers usually runs over into the Monday morning bus stops for the Thompson boys but this is what keeps us coming back. For those of you new to the game I’ll pass it along to our resident professional Stubby to give you the low down of the game.”
“Thanks Bob. The boys usually start this game somewhere between the pop and shot there to the left in the toy room with the end zones being the toy tractor line to the north and the living room to the south. No pads are allowed in this game so the boys will be on their knees for the duration of the game but heavy hitting and multiple name calling is allowed and heavily encouraged. The game usually lasts anywhere between a half hour to an hour depending on which brother gets upset and decides to quit. The action is always two on one with the offense having the advantage with the extra player. Needless to say we’re in for a treat today as some heated exchanges have already begun during pre-game when the boys were eating their breakfast and watching cartoons.”
Similar to the simplistic Thompson brothers childhood tradition of knee football I’ve decided to start a tradition with my brothers that they have no idea about but one that I think will be a family favorite when it’s all said and done. Every Christmas we are no different than any other family (well one that has Christmas breakfast with their Mom and Step-Dad along with their Dad at their Moms house before opening presents together, we put the funk in dysfunctional) in the manner that we exchange gifts. I usually try to get something for my brothers that I think they would enjoy and that is popular at the time. For instance a couple years back I got them iPod’s (nothing extravagant but nice). I’ve realized that this tradition is missing something so I’ve decided to make a change for the better (at least I hope).
Rather than exchanging traditional gifts I’ve made up my mind that this year I’m going to do something a little different. I’ve known my brothers for their entire lives (and my entire life as well) and thus feel that I know them fairly well. For this reason I’ve decided that every year I’m going to give them their favorite childhood breakfast (Yoo-Hoo and Honeybuns/Root Beer and Funyuns, I’ll let you guess who gets what) along with a gift from TV. Lately I’ve been paying close attention to commercials to find the perfect gifts for my brothers and found it, a Snuggie.
I know many of you are thinking that a Snuggie is a great idea and I agree (aside from the new dog Snuggie, a dog has fur to keep it warm, it’s like putting a rain coat on a duck, they don’t really need it). The reason I chose a Snuggie may not be that common though. During my episode I became obsessed with noticing little things throughout my surroundings. I believed that a hand gesture, the color of a bum’s shirt, the background set in a movie, or the way a person greeted me were all signs or symbols. Now from time to time this feeling will creep back into me and this happened during the Snuggie commercial. I never noticed this before but when the commercial cuts to the fans at a game all wearing Snuggies outside there is a old man sitting in the front left hand side shaded towards the middle with no Snuggie on freezing his butt off and shaking (just rewind the commercial next time and stop it at this spot, pretty entertaining). This guy makes the whole commercial. It’s a little sad yet downright hilarious that no one in the crowd (especially considering the fact they are at least 15 years younger) offers this obvious Grandpa a Snuggie while he is in such discomfort.
A little bit of a lame reason to decide on the Snuggie but I’m glad my mania has led me to noticing the little things in life (although the obsession bit of it I could do without again). I couldn’t tell you how many toys my brothers and I received while growing up but one of the most fun times I had was playing knee football with a pillow with them. It’s like the old man in the commercial, it’s not the big flashy in your face elements of the commercial that everyone notices that hooked me. It was the simple, low key, yet perfect shivering old man that did. At times as much as I get frustrated with my mania I’m glad it’s around to remind me of what is important in life (of course that’s a breakfast of champions with Root Beer, Funyuns, Yoo-Hoo, and Honeybuns).
Since many of my manic experiences involve music I’ve decided to add random music videos to the blog for my enjoyment and your inconvenience. Enjoy!
Coming Correct,
d01roK
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